Modest Mouse is Coming to Town

Modest Mouse is scheduled to do a show at Moose’s Tooth, Anchorage on June 18th. So that triggered this memory from a Roderick on the Line episode, with this exchange between John Roderick and Merlin Mann.

John: Option A, look at the first sentence under option A. “Detachable penis.”

Merlin: Oh my god, that’s that King Missile song! Remember that? “Detachable penis.” Second most disappointing show I ever went to.

John: Oh that’s sad.

Merlin: Modest Mouse was the worst.

John: I know the guy from….

Merlin: Yeah his name’s John Dongface or something. What’s his name? Dr. Phil?

John: He lives in San Francisco.

Merlin: No, he seems nice. But he’s not very—

John: Wait, so you’re saying that Modest Mouse is the most disappointing rock show you’ve ever been to?

Merlin: Yep.

John: Oh, I don’t want to get derailed from the shemale Realdoll, but what happened at the Modest Mouse concert?

Merlin: I hope they were high. I hope they were either high, or they were mad about crap services, because I have never been to a more phoned in fucking show in my whole life. This is 1997–8. It’s around the time of Real Signs of the Real West, Highway West, what the fuck’s that album they had?

John: They were huffing modeling glue at that point. They were young guys from that point.

Merlin: You know what, I can enjoy a lot of things, John. I like a lot of different kinds of music, you know? I don’t like a Low show, because I don’t like being shushed and being told to sit Indian style, I will not go to a Low show. I’ve been shushed at two different Low shows.

I’m sure Modest Mouse is no longer sniffing glue, or huffing paint, or whatever. I doubt the band would still be around 15 years later if they had kept up with that.

But I worship Merlin Mann. If Merlin were to run for President on a kill cute puppies platform, I would probably still vote for him. So when he says Modest Mouse’s show was the worst ever, I am going take him for his word, and not see this show.

Odd note from Merlin on Low. He was shushed at one Low concert, but that wasn’t enough, so he went back and was shushed at a second Low concert. I guess give him credit for giving them a second chance before writing them off.

Here is a music video from Modest Mouse. It has a fishing theme, so perfect for Alaska.


How to be a Public Intellectual

The Roller Coaster Ride That Was Vikings vs Seahawks

After the Vikings made it 9-0, they had an 87.7% chance of winning. Then Seattle took the lead 10-9, and the chance for the Vikings to win dropped to 11.03%. Just before the chip shot field goal, the chance spiked back to 76.75%. Right after the miss, 0.26%.

1/10/2016 Seattle Seahawks vs. Minnesota Vikings box score at

Empire Strikes Back Reviewed

Here we have Sickel & Ebert, teaming up against some guy with something cork-like shoved up his ass. Our mediator is Mr. Ted Koppel. Apparently we are past the Iran hostage crisis so Nightline can now chat about such bubblegum topics.

Mr. Butt cheek clencher was raised in an environment where the goal was to shed child-like behavior, and act like a grown-up, as quickly as possible. Siskel & Ebert both refused to lose the ability to play as they grew into adulthood.

Was there some grand lesson to be learned in Empire Strikes Back? Not really. It was meant to be playful and fun. If you lost the ability to play, the Star Wars movies would be lost on you.

Think of the Children

I was playing World of Tanks this evening. A PC game that I have been playing for, oh, nearly 2 years. I’m not very good – I’m 50 years old, and the reflexes have taken a dip.

For the first time, I received a personal message via the World of Tanks messaging system. I didn’t know I had received this message until I logged off and saw the email notification from the World of Tanks universe. Without further ado, here was what YummyKittyCupcake said:

I wanted to tell u what an idiot u are child. Why didnt u roll forward and support me instead of just camping in the back with no shot whatsoever and u let me get killed. This game is all about teamwork and u rolled forward in ur SU-100 only when everyone was dead on that side. Shows what a stupid coward u are. Man u really are one stupid idiot.

That was incredibly adorable. Especially coming from someone with the tanker name of YummyKittyCupcake. Well, I really wanted to reply to him, but he had already logged off. So I shall use the power of the blog to supply him with my clever retort:

First off, YummyKittyCupcake, I am extremely thankful that you took the time to bring my misplay to my attention. It is only through thoughtful criticism from our peers, can we progress to the next level.

You start marvelously by first complimenting me. As a 50 year old, being called a child is one of the nicest thing you could of said. You should always begin each critique with a compliment, and you did that brilliantly.

Your first point you make is spot on. I should of rolled up and supported you. I just wasn’t concentrating. President Obama had just visited my home state of Alaska, and I was probably mulling over his points about the impacts of global warming. In the future, I will have to stay more focused on the movements of my teammates.

So true about supporting your teammates! We would of won this battle by an even larger margin (15 to 9), had I been more aware of your movements. Maybe I wasn’t thinking about global warming… maybe I was thinking of that poor drowned refugee child that washed up on the shore of Bodrum. Such sadness does affect my judgement.

World of Tanks is indeed an excellent way to measure a person’s bravery and or cowardice. Shooting at such a long distance from the enemy with my tank destroyer, definitely shows how weak-kneed of human I am. You have called me out, sir, and I am grateful. It makes no never mind that I was causing damage to the opposing team, while taking no damage on my vehicle. Fear had overtaken me, and you paid the ultimate price.

Your concluding comment that I am a stupid idiot, is completely fair. Some would call this bullying or trolling, but with such a well-thought out critique of my play style, I must take my medicine here. Thank you YummyKittyCupcake, you have made me a better tanker.

No, I must go further, you made me a better human being.

Yours truly, Zoyx.

For those lucky to have World of Tanks installed, you can watch the replay from my perspective. You too can criticize my shitty playing techniques.