A Glorious Game

I have not had much luck with women lately. My friend, who has become a member of AAOAWAAG, has inspired me. So I have joined a Christian group as well! Last night, I watched the mighty Vikings defeat those much hated Packers, in a hot tub with two young lasses under each arm. God was certainly shining on me and the Vikings last night.

You may think I am fibbing, Au Contraire!

But yes, for the privilege, I made a large donation to “Buy a Shoe for One-legged Babies” (BSOB). This Christian group, in cooperation with the Minnesota Vikings, provides shoes for one-legged babies. If it wasn’t for this organization, parents of these babies would have to buy two shoes at stores, because that is the only way they are sold.

If you are interested in our group, I recommend going to the Mall of America Friday evening around 7 PM, and join in on our giant prayer circle. Look for us on the 4th floor across the way from Hooters.

We also plan on forming the largest human pyramid at half-time of the Vikings game against Cleveland. We need some strong young men to form the base, so please consider helping our cause. For added excitement (and danger), we will be forming this pyramid in harms way of an Irish punt-pass-and-kick contest, sponsored by some other Christian group.

One in Every Crowd

Another party, another fucking lamed-assed excuse. One of our more uppity friends thinks he has more important things to do than hang out with his chums. For the Halloween party, the excuse was to train one of our future defenders of our freedom to fly a fighter jet. Now he has this cheesy event below. Well my dear reader, we shall not stand for this any longer. We shall sit and have a beer (or girly drink) instead.

Hello Everyone,

First of all, a special thanks to everyone who waved or exposed a little skin when we flew over the hot tub during your Halloween party. I’m surprised I didn’t recognize anyone…but then it has been a long time.

Anyway, once again thanks for continuing to invite me to your soire├ęs. Unfortunately, I have a commitment to that Football game already. I have agreed to help chaperon a Christian Athletes group that will be selling hot dogs as a fund raiser at Lambeau Field during the game. My squeeze, Katlin, (remember, she is Jeb Bushes’ daughter’s best friend) encouraged me to Join AAOAWAAG (pronounced just like it looks) and help with some of the events. AAOAWAAG, which stands for “Athletes Against Other Athletes Who Are Against God” is a sports club that promotes Christian activities and guides youth in making responsible decisions about tolerance and compassion. We will assist at one of the concession stands during the game to earn some money, and at half time we are sponsoring an Irish punt-pass-and-kick contest. The Lutheran members of our group compete against the Catholics. It’s all in good fun. The winner gets an autographed life-jacket from the Vikings team. I doubt they will televise the punt-pass-kick contest on MNF, but you may see our banner hanging at the 50 yard line. It’s blaze orange and says “Winners believe in Our God–AAOAWAA–Go Vikes”.

We have a little room in the van if anyone wants to ride down with us. I could use a little support from some Geologists. We did a similar fund raiser a few months ago at the U of MN-Michigan game in Ann Arbor and during the ride I got beat up a little bit during a debate on intelligent design versus evolution. Some of those little buggers make some pretty compelling arguments–like “if people really come from apes why can’t apes sing and write poetry”, or “if evolution really happened why has it stopped”, and “if Quantum physic really exists why can’t we see it” ; “how can Heisenberg and God both be right (Help me out on this one, who is Heisenberg?)” ; “if evolution favors survival of the fittest why do mice continue to be small?

These are tough questions but I stumped them when I asked them: “Why do Gorilla’s have big noses” They still haven’t guessed the right answer–“because they have big fingers”. But I think when they finally hear the answer–and think about it for a moment—they will realize there is no denying evolution. Do you think I could convince them that the fossil record clearly shows that all small-nosed Gorillas died of suffocation from impacted nostrils.

Sorry for digressing. Hope you all have good time and don’t forget to Pray for the non-athletic, that they may be saved from their narrow mindedness.

{Name deleted… although for the right price, I will give it to you. Ahh heck, belly button lint would be enough.}

What specifically is an Irish punt-pass-and-kick contest, anyway?

BeatHarness

It was over a year ago, I requested in this here blog for a WinAmp plugin that applies image effects to video on the fly. The image effects would dance with the music. This request has been fulfilled. Actually, this application was done before I made the initial open request, but WinAmp took its sweet time getting the plugin on their site. The plugin I am talking about is from BeatHarness.com. Here is the WinAmp page.

So this is what I have been playing with today, besides the webcam. This is a well done plugin. Not only does it come with its own effects, but it has its own scripting language, so you can produce your own custom effects. The effects that come with the plugin are open source, so you can tweak them as you see fit, or use them as examples to learn the scripting language. The authors of this plugin have been working on the documentation for over a year now, but with no release. So I had to spend considerable time figuring stuff out on my own. The authors are sitting on a gold mine, yet they seem to be lacking a certain follow through.

I have narrowed down the effects that I like down to five. The others aren’t video-centric enough for me. I wanted the video to be the highlight of the effect.

After transferring a bunch of my music videos into the plugin’s video folder, I have been having my own bondage-a-go-go party. Well, without the leather clothing and whips. I haven’t been doing much dancing around the log home either. Now that I think about it, except for the music and eye candy, this is a pretty lame party. The eye candy makes up for a lot though.

Freak Cam

It is web cam time… go try the Zoyx Freak Cam. This cam is running off of internet port 8003. So it just might be blocked by some firewalls. Sorry.

I was running off of the camarades site earlier today. Maybe it will be running there again some day.

Update: I took the web cam down.

Caught on Film

A government owned plane, dropping its booty of barium. Probably over your town. I bet you are feeling a little under the weather today, aren’t you? Now you know why. Better move to Belize.

Will Latex Work?

From MIT research…

Conclusion

The [tin foil] helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz. According to the FCC, These bands are supposedly reserved for ”radio location” (ie, GPS), and other communications with satellites (see, for example, [3]). The 2.6 Ghz band coincides with mobile phone technology. Though not affiliated by government, these bands are at the hands of multinational corporations.

It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.

Hot Stuff

This link is for my cousin Howard and his buddy Chalain. Others will find this post humorous as well.

http://www.misterabsurd.com/index.php?itemid=1488