It has been a month since you have been dumped. All attempts at contact have been rebuffed. Time to show her how you really feel. A way that will most certainly result in her taking you back. She is on a business trip and will be arriving home that evening. You will be waiting for her in a tent, pitched on her front yard.
You set up your tent around 3 in the afternoon. You get inside and wait. While inside, a dog “marks” your tent. One of the street folk raps on your tent and asks if he could sleep in the tent with you (tell him to bugger off!). The squirrels are hopping on your tent and bothering you, so you leave a dish with whiskey in it. That plan works, they lap it up, get drunk and leave you alone. The street folk finish off the dish, and they stop bothering you as well.
Finally, just before dusk, there is another rap on your tent. One of the neighbors made a call to the police, and the police are now asking you to leave. You don’t respond. They unzip the tent to find you with nothing on but a large red bow around you mid-section and some whipped cream on your nipples. You have your portable stereo cranked, playing a love song from the 70s (I think it was “Wildfire” by Michael Martin Murphey). The cops do appreciate that you are pre-handcuffed. As they start to escort you to the waiting cop car, you start screaming to them about how they don’t understand true love. Things turn ugly when you start resisting and claiming that the cops work for the skull and X-bones hidden society. Thats when the tazer comes out.
As they guide you into the back of the squad car, the neighbors have their video cameras turned on. It is at this moment you realize, this may not have been the most thought out idea that you have ever had.
Happy Camp in Front of Your Ex-girlfriends House Day