Go Through Airport Security as a Borg Day

The bags are packed and the tummy is a tingling, because you are on your way to the Effingham (Home of the Mother Effers. Go Mother Effers!) Star Trek convention. Your goal is to break into the professional Star Trek look-a-like ranks, and you are confident the Effingham convention will be your break through. The main rival will be Clorox Washingmachine. Clorox is so successful that he was paid big bucks to change his name to a name brand bleach.

The chosen look is of Jean-Luc Picard as he looked when he was absorbed by the Borg collective. In order to be at the top of your game, you must become Jean-Luc Picard as Locutus of Borg. So at your house, you spend hours getting into costume, complete with make-up and electronic gear, before hitting the road to the airport. Yep, you get strange looks and snickers as you enter the airport. Some long looks from airport officials. Finally at the metal detector, you are quizzed about your get-up. Remaining in character, you press the hand controller that adds a synthetic sound to your voice, and respond, “Your life as it has been, is over. From this time forward, you will service, us.” Well that did it! Out come the armed officials, and of course, you are tazed.

It only takes a few seconds back in the interview room to take off your gear for the strip search. You smartly leave character by this time, and obey instructions directed toward you. After the search, sitting in your underoos, you nervously twittle your fingers in such a way that gets your guard aroused. Unbeknownst to you, what you were doing was signaling for a sexual encounter. Now a misdemeanor for lewd behavior has been tacked onto your criminal resume. Eventually they set you free on $1000 bond, posted by your mother.

The next day, while you sit in your room masturbating to provocative pictures of Counselor Deanna Troi, Clorox Washingmachine wins another look-a-like contest.

Happy Go Through Airport Security as a Borg Day!

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