Countdown to Oblivion

Judging by the title of this blog entry, you are probably thinking I am going to talk about _countdown‘s blog. No, I already wrote my blurb on this blog on the Mister Absurd site. This little blog entry is about the multi-pronged apocalypse that is “Hercolubus or Red Planet“. Here are all the ways that we (all inhabits of Terra Firma) are going to perish:

A giant red planet, called Hercolubus, is heading straight for us. This planet is 5-6 times bigger than Jupiter. It will destroy us upon impact.

This red planet is inhabited by really smart race of extraterrestrials. If we try and destroy Hercolubus before it hits us, these fine folks will destroy us first. Judging by the size of this planet, it must be a gas planet, similar to Jupiter. That much gravity would be enough for spontaneous fusion reactions, assuming enough hydrogen. These inhabitants must be quite the race.

The underground atomic tests we have been doing, has loosened up the earths crust. The land masses are now slowly sinking into the oceans.

These underground tests have also weakened the fissures on the ocean floor. This will open a portal for the monsters that live in earths core to escape and attack us on the surface.

The release of extra lava from these fissures is what is creating the “el nino” effect. This isn’t an apocalyptic scenario. On the contrary. It is helping to open up ship routes in the Arctic Ocean.

According to this site

The only way to escape from this disaster is to show the extraterrestrials that we are really carrying out the elimination of the ego, so that at the right moment we can be rescued by them, and then taken to a safe place where we can continue the work we began on ourselves…

Sounds easy enough. Well you heard them, eliminate your ego. I have already done this. I’ll bet you I am the best at eliminating my ego.

One Reply to “Countdown to Oblivion”

  1. Wow. I mean, just… wow.

    I’m going to work on my ego RIGHT NOW.

    “No, kids, there is no Santa Claus, but if you don’t stop being selfish Hercolobus will smash you into oblivion.”


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