Hodge Podge

The Zoyx Attorneys gave me all sorts of blog material. My small, sleep deprived brain is having problems sorting through the randomness. Be prepared to be confused.

The Zoyx Attorneys learned that the best way to my heart is to let me embezzle large sums of money from them. One attorney responded to this by spitting red wine and cheetoes out of her nose.

Conversing with two female, blond attorneys, is one of the scariest experiences you will ever go through. I think I can now handle being trapped in an attic with rising flood waters. Actually there is a similarity between these two scary situations. A hatchet solves both problems.

A friend of one of the lawyers believes that squirrels are CIA plants. I need to meet up with this person, I have eastern bloc communists infesting my house. CIA squirrels seem to be just the cure. Probably do a better job than Orkin.

I had a self-induced owie a couple weeks back. I never had any special friend give a gentle, loving kiss to make me feel better. Bad News Hughes will probably be luckier in this regard. My noodly appendage was even more purply than this guys little toe. At its peak color, you wanted to take my noodly appendage and spread it on bread for some peanut butter and jelly goodness.

I have had no takers when I try to show my scar to the girls. Bouncers at bars get all uppity when you attempt to get free beer this way.

The same lady who believes in CIA squirrels, is also the actress who has to go through a ceremony to kill all of her characters after the role is done.

This woman is dating one of the most manly men in the world, named Courtney. I don’t think this is the same Courtney that was on “Friends”. If you haven’t figured it out yet, Courtney has to purchase her noodly appendage. God wasn’t nice enough to provide Courtney with one. Probably some bureaucratic snafu.

Finally, a video that will make you snicker. Don’t snigger, though. They don’t prefer to be called that.

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