You Dingleberry

I’ve been calling people a “DingleBerry” since my teenage years. I just learned what a dingleberry is. This is my official apology to all those I called a dingleberry over the years. What I thought was fun lovin’ and affectionate name calling, could be interpreted as a strong and nasty put down. From now on, I shall use the more appropriate term, “conkerbell”.

Thank You.

Driven Out

Just got back from a bike hike on the Munger Trail. I did about 30 miles worth of biking. I did the segment between the Munger Inn and Thomson Dam. The St. Louis River has a good flow to it but not the most I have ever seen. It looked like only 1.5 gates out of the 4 were open at the dam. Now that I am home, I am having a little bit of tummy trouble. You don’t want to know the details. I am afraid if I give too many details, I may get another prognosis from the Zoyx Doctor.

I have a new member to the Zoyx team. Since I am such a cluefuck with relationships, I have brought in the Zoyx Relationship Manager. The first advice I received from this new consultant was rather cryptic. Here it is, see if you can decipher, “Keep your protruding digit in your pink panties for safety“. I seem to remember my mom telling a tale of rustlers that come in the night and steal your protruding digit in your sleep if you play with it too much. I wonder if I should buy a helmet or a safety strap to protect it further. I can’t see what protection pink panties can provide.

I have noticed when I am around the fair maiden GoatGirl, that my protruding digit changes form into some mutant monster. Maybe these pink panties have a shielding mechanism that will protect me from the evil rays that emit from GoatGirl. In order for the Zoyx Relationship Manager to help me, I must learn to trust. On go the pink panties.

What Would Jesus Bomb?

My weeks vacation is nearly complete. Here are the PowerPoint type bullets with the highlights.

• What the heck did I do on Thursday. I have no clue. Looks like I updated my blog that day. Oh I know! I got a hair cut!

• On Friday, my friends from the cities came up. The main highlight this day was the hike on Park Point down to the Superior canal and back. I left some graffiti on the wall of the deserted building. It read “K O D ’05 May”. I wrote it in charcoal so the next rain or two will probably wash it off. That evening, I watched the movie “Freeway” for the second time with my visitors. I kept uttering “thats not gonna help” each time Venessa would do something that would get her into deeper shit.

• Saturday we hit the road for the Gunflint Trail. Along the way up the North Shore we hiked around Gooseberry Falls. The river was flowing quite strong thanks to all of the spring rains. Even with all of the snow melt that the North Shore had, the snow melt runoff should of been done by now. This must of been nearly all rainfall related runoff. When we got to camp, we broke out the kayaks and explored the local area. It started to rain just before sunset, so we never got a fire going. We played Mille Borne inside of the tent while it rained. I think I went to sleep in my car at around 10:30 PM.

• Sunny for Sunday. More kayaking. While kayaking, we got pulled over by the local water police. The registration on our kayaks had expired. Big ol’ fine. We did about 7 miles worth of kayaking during this little trip. We hit the road a little after 11 AM and made a stop at Tettegouche State Park and saw the falls there. This river there was also roaring. After Tettegouche, my friends kept going to the cities. I made a brief stop at my place in Duluth, then continued down to the cities. We played a rousing game of Lord of the Rings Risk at my sisters that night. The game didn’t complete until 1:30 AM.

• I did a 15 mile bike hike, Monday, on the Gateway Trail, then went shoe shopping at the Maplewood Mall. That evening I went to the Zoyx attorney’s place and watched a couple movies with a few old friends. The movies were “Eulogy” and “Employee of the Month“. I jumped in the hot tub. My dark blue undies are now a pinkish-purple. I am now the proud owner of pink-panties.

• I drove back to the log home Tuesday morning. First thing I did when I got back was to cut the lawn. All the dandelions had matured and released their seeds. So I had a bunch of ugly dandelion stems poking up through my lawn everywhere. The lawn looks much better now. Goatgirl (ex-GF) was nice enough to go out with me last night. I am trying to make amends with her. She seems to be willing to get back together if I am willing to sign a pre-nup-nup. The Zoyx attorney is drawing up the necessary paperwork as I type. The basic premise behind the pre-nup-nup is that if I call off the relationship before X amount of time, she gets to lop off an index finger. I guess thats fair. She could be asking to cut off another, more important, protruding digit.